“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” – Edith Wharton
These days, a there’s a big hype about happiness, being happy, feeling happy, doing this that and the other in order to achieve happiness. There are people telling us what we ought to do in order to be happy. Self-proclaimed awakening gurus telling us that if we only did that one thing, whatever it may be, we will be happy! Eternally happy 🙂
This is all fine and dandy. We all live in a free world where we can decide for ourselves what makes us happy and what are the steps we should take in order to achieve this much talked about bliss. Yet, being curious trainers that we are, whenever there’s a hype about a certain phenomenon and how it affects us, our lives, our behaviour, we put our thinking hats on, and we think long and hard. Not as long as some scholars and philosophers from the days of yore did, but we gave it a fair amount of time… And we have a question for you – If you could be happy for the rest of your life: would it be enough?
Would being happy suffise?
Our own answer to this question is a resounding NO! And while it is in no way our business to prescribe how you should live your life – that is entirely up to you – we would like to share with you our musings.
You may be familiar with the old Marshmallow experiment. In this experiment small kids were put in front of a table, and in front of them the experimenter placed a marshmallow. The kids had two options. They could either eat the marshmallow immediately OR they could wait fifteen minutes without eating the marshmallow and get two marshmallows as a reward.
It turns out that this experiment in delayed gratification was a great predictor of future successes. In terms of educational achievements, BMI and other indicators of a happy and successful life. Now there is some debate as to whether the Marshmallow experiments really measured the ability to control impulses or actually something else like strategic reasoning skills, but they exemplify something very well:
Many of life’s most precious moments are the result of struggle and sacrifice.
Now. There is nothing wrong with being happy. Letting yourself enjoy moments of bliss and hedonistic abandonment. But to those who strive to maximize happiness and minimize time outside the comfort zone every day so many pleasures simply disappear out of reach.
You see, being happy is not enough to be happy!
In order to get a full blown 3D experience we need to be fulfilled. And to be fulfilled it is important to have a clear purpose, to accomplish meaningful things, inspiring and supporting relationships, we need to feel loved, we need to love, we need to learn the art of acceptance and the skill of going with a flow, surrender to what this cycle of human experience called life, has in store for us. We need to listen to our Soul and respond to its demands. The Soul and Spirit know what we need, we just need to be attentive, to listen and to follow.
With this in mind, may we invite you to spend some time listening to what your Soul has to tell you. Really listening. Surrender to your Soul, allow it to guide you, you may learn a thing or two about long term sustainable happiness, and what you need to do or not do, in order to start walking along the road that may lead you to it (happiness).
We wish you a wonderful week and send you oceans of love,
Your happy trainers,
Lidija and Thomas
Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach
Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach
© Momentum Strategies 2013