Is Happiness Enough?

Dear Friends,

“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” – Edith Wharton

happinessThese days, a there’s a big hype about happiness, being happy, feeling happy, doing this that and the other in order to achieve happiness. There are people telling us what we ought to do in order to be happy. Self-proclaimed awakening gurus telling us that if we only did that one thing, whatever it may be, we will be happy! Eternally happy 🙂

This is all fine and dandy. We all live in a free world where we can decide for ourselves what makes us happy and what are the steps we should take in order to achieve this much talked about bliss. Yet, being curious trainers that we are, whenever there’s a hype about a certain phenomenon and how it affects us, our lives, our behaviour, we put our thinking hats on, and we think long and hard. Not as long as some scholars and philosophers from the days of yore did, but we gave it a fair amount of time… And we have a question for you – If you could be happy for the rest of your life: would it be enough?

Would being happy suffise?

Our own answer to this question is a resounding NO! And while it is in no way our business to prescribe how you should live your life – that is entirely up to you – we would like to share with you our musings.

You may be familiar with the old Marshmallow experiment. In this experiment small kids were put in front of a table, and in front of them the experimenter placed a marshmallow. The kids had two options. They could either eat the marshmallow immediately OR they could wait fifteen minutes without eating the marshmallow and get two marshmallows as a reward.

It turns out that this experiment in delayed gratification was a great predictor of future successes. In terms of educational achievements, BMI and other indicators of a happy and successful life. Now there is some debate as to whether the Marshmallow experiments really measured the ability to control impulses or actually something else like strategic reasoning skills, but they exemplify something very well:

Many of life’s most precious moments are the result of struggle and sacrifice.

Now. There is nothing wrong with being happy. Letting yourself enjoy moments of bliss and hedonistic abandonment. But to those who strive to maximize happiness and minimize time outside the comfort zone every day so many pleasures simply disappear out of reach.

You see, being happy is not enough to be happy!

In order to get a full blown 3D experience we need to be fulfilled. And to be fulfilled it is important to have a clear purpose, to accomplish meaningful things, inspiring and supporting relationships, we need to feel loved, we need to love, we need to learn the art of acceptance and the skill of going with a flow, surrender to what this cycle of human experience called life, has in store for us. We need to listen to our Soul and respond to its demands. The Soul and Spirit know what we need, we just need to be attentive, to listen and to follow.

With this in mind, may we invite you to spend some time listening to what your Soul has to tell you. Really listening. Surrender to your Soul, allow it to guide you, you may learn a thing or two about long term sustainable happiness, and what you need to do or not do, in order to start walking along the road that may lead you to it (happiness).

We wish you a wonderful week and send you oceans of love,

Your happy trainers,
Lidija and Thomas

Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach
Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach
© Momentum Strategies 2013

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Love Thyself

Dear Friends,

These days everywhere we turn, we seem to be surrounded with messages about love, appreciation, self love, pure love, unconditional love..

And our love for all things current, got us thinking about it …

SelfLoveImage‘My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.’~Shakti Gawain

What does it mean to love yourself? We are not talking about the narcissistic love of a fake reflection of the self. We are not talking about arrogance or egoism. None of these are actually about loving oneself as one is.

When it comes to self love there is one thing that is often taboo – compassion. Compassion for self. And forgiving. Forgiving yourself. Once we forgive ourselves, we open the door to compassion, appreciation, love. Pure love. Deep love. Self love. And once this happens, it causes a ripple effect. That love emanates from us, to us, to other people, to every aspect of our living and being.

After all, love is the most nourishing of all feelings.

Very often, in working with our clients, we find that they feel they are not deserving of love, they are not good enough, they need to change, they need to meet someone else’s expectations, they need to be and do something in order to ‘earn’ love.

And in hearing this, and witnessing it on regular basis, we couldn’t help but ponder a bit…Is this lack of self love something we are born with, or is it something that was thrust upon us, through family, school, peers, society…

Sometimes, the world acts as if it were a large conspiracy to put the individual down. Commercial interests continuously make money by publishing ads to make people feel not good enough. The entire entertainment business is like a competition among people thoroughbred for beauty. The teachers in school grade you at best because of what you were capable of doing.

But more importantly… Your parents. Some parents love their children for being who they are. Others place hidden demands – I will love you if you do what I want you to do. And unfortunately some parents simply neglect their children. But perhaps the most common neglect is simply the lack of love. And no one calls the social services on a family where the kids are not loved as they should be.

Perhaps this is the key. Imagine the perfect parent. The parent you would love to be. The parent you would love to have had, perhaps? How would that perfect parent love their child – you? And what would happen if you were to approach yourself with that attitude? With the attitude of a perfect parent. By giving yourself, and showering yourself with love, pure unadulterated love, love for self, for who you are, for who you are becoming and blossoming into.

Most people, as a result of not loving themselves, run the risk of searching for love from other people, and often times the wrong people.

Your relationship with yourself will last for as long as you live. So it is one that is wise to invest in.

With this in mind, may we invite you to, as a part of your daily ritual, spend a few minutes to get in touch with yourself, to connect to yourself, to listen to yourself, asking yourself what is it that you need, and what you can give to yourself…. Yes, you! You have a lot to give to yourself.

Go on, dare to love yourself abundantly!

We wish you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your loving trainers,

Lidija and Thomas
Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach

Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach

© Momentum Strategies 2013

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The Importance of Living Fearlessly

Dear Friends,

As someone who is interested in personal development, NLP and NLP training we assume that you have at some time considered how tragic it is when a person who could have been destined for greatness missed out on it because of fear.

Because there are so many lives that are potentially great and partially  lived because of fear. Yet the bars of fear that create the cage we live in are often based on illusion. Imagine for a moment how your life would be different if you were absolutely fearless. What are the dreams, the longings, the desires which you would dare to fulfill?

Danger is very real but fear is a choice“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free” – Aristotle

Don’t misunderstand us. Fear can be your friend and ally, it can even save your life. We are not asking you to go out and expose yourself to danger. There is a difference between smart fear and stupid fear. What we are asking you to do is to simply imagine a life without the borders placed on it by fear. A life where your courage has given you absolute choice about when to listen to your fear – and when to act in spite of it.

Consider for a while the many fears placing limits on people’s lives. The fear of failure – now, realistically it is impossible not to fail if you are going to attempt to do new stuff, so if you let the fear of failure rule your life you will be stuck doing what you already do. The fear of success – if there ever was a limiting fear this is it – the person being ruled by this fear will do all the hard work and all the preparations until the very last moment, where they will spoil their efforts in order to avoid success. Fear of what other people will think and say – basically people who let this fear rule their lives are giving up their freedom and handing over the power to decide how they should live to someone else.

What it basically boils down to is that fear is a learned response – and we humans are capable of learning both very smart things and very stupid things J. Fear is something we learn about in many ways – and some of these learnings we can be grateful for, they are part of our basic survival training, like when a parent teaches his kid that the road with cars can be a dangerous place.

Sometimes however what gets transmitted is more random, like when a kid picks up a fear of spiders by witnessing a parent going hysterical when finding one in the bathtub. Or the fear learned is just a basic means of controlling people, i.e. the schoolyard bully likes being able to scare the other kids.

And sometimes we find that fear has been transmitted in more surprising ways: a person has inherited a fear from an ancestor, a fear reflecting some long past event that he has never heard or known about. Some people think of these ancestral fears as energetically transmitted, others as transmitted through nonverbal communication.

Within NLP there are several tools for dealing with all sorts of fears, from mild anxieties to full blown phobias. To describe those goes outside the scope of this text and they are best learnt in an NLP-training environment. But there are some things you can do on your own.

Sometimes fear has hidden itself. A person has an automated series of thoughts and actions, which flash by very rapidly with the purpose of avoiding a fearful situation – yet it happens so quickly that the person doesn’t even recognize that he is doing what he is doing because of fear.

And it may be covered by some rationalization. While in reality you are simply scared by doing one thing you just pretend that you don’t like, or that you avoid doing out of courtesy. Now, if you muster up the courage to see fear for what it really is you may find that it sometimes is just like the trolls of yore who exploded when hit by the rays of the sun, and that it ceases to hold any power over you the moment you realize it is fear.

With this in mind may we invite you to spend some time exploring fear and thinking about a life beyond it. Allow yourself to become aware of the fears you feel. Explore their origins – from whom did you get them? And start asking yourself the question which fears can you safely just let go of. Which ones are really yours and which ones carry the ancestral burden, something that has nothing to do with you, nor with your authentic self, something that was ‘planted’ in you through generations. Once you make these distinctions, it will be a lot easier to work with you authentic fears and let go of them, one by one!

We wish you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your fearless trainers,

Lidija and Thomas

 

Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach

Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach

 

© Momentum Strategies 2013

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Are you at the top yet?! Or How to climb a mountain!

Dear Friends,

mountain-climbingWe know that you, being avid supporters and practitioners of NLP, Coaching and all things that relate to personal development, have done at least one thing in your life that went beyond your everyday limits! We can also safely assume that you have even gone beyond the borders of your habits just for fun, right?!

“If you cannot understand that there’s something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won’t see why we go” ~ George Mallory

To climb or not to climb

Last week we went hiking in the Carpathians and decided to climb the mountain Rtanj. The mountain is probably considered an easy climb among skilled mountaineers. You can walk straight to the top. No extra equipment is really necessary. At the same time it is demanding enough that quite a few of those who set out to reach the top decide to save it for another day…

And this is precisely what got us thinking, and inspired us to write this week’s note. The fact that sometimes it looks easy to get to the top and it may also seem that no special equipment is necessary. Also, the fact that we seem to be inundated with ‘positive’ messages that tell us that everything we need is within us, and we have all resources available to get us to the topJ

This may be the case…however, there are very few real, concrete steps offered as to how to get to these resources, and what is that that we have with us that can get us to the top, to where our dreams await to turn into reality!

The mountain as a metaphor for life

You see, climbing a mountain is akin to climbing the ladder of life…Small steps…Progress…Looking back… Gauging as to how far we’ve gone…Going further…Finding the inner strength to continue…Seeing the top…Feeling excited…Proud…And then, sometimes with some people, that looking back to see how much progress we’ve made, and distance we’ve covered, can be enough to make them take their hiking shoes off, make a cup of tea, safe in the knowledge that the mountain will not move, and they can do it another day:-)!

There are other scenarios, the ones, where they say: Jeez, this is easy, I can do this…They’ve get two thirds up, and they quit…They invest so much energy, effort, resources into those two thirds, that continuing the climb seems so pointless…

Has that ever happened to you? To invest a lot of you into something, get almost to the top, and decide to descend…for whatever reason…If it hasn’t, it will:-)! We learn so much from these situations…That once we pick up the learnings, all we want to do is climb higher:-)

It is better to climb than to quit

I had a similar experience when I first went wall climbing. I was two thirds up, and the internal voice started nagging, cheering me on, reversely: ‘…you know you can do it, start descending, you’ve got a lot of work waiting, this is not a kind of sport you should take up, etc…’ I wanted to quit, and was very near to doing so, yet, the power of a peer group and an awesome team, made sure I stayed put and continue the climb…And boy was I grateful for that! It was one of those breakthrough moments in life, where in a short space of time you learn a lot about yourself, and about how you tackle life and everything it offers.

You have what it takes

We are a sea of resources, we have everything we need to get to the top, any top, no matter how high, what most people lack is resourcefulness! And that is what is lacking when we hear/read about ‘positive’ messages! Resourcefulness is one of the key factors required to get you to the top!

Looking for something that you already have, requires you to know where to look. What is the point of having all the resources if you are not resourceful enough to know where to go and look:-)!

With this in mind, may we invite you to start looking though your rich memory file of all the situations where you were resourceful, where you even surprised yourself, where you reached using your resources without even being aware of what you were doing…Once you find those moments, experience them as if they are happening now, bring them to the front of your mind, and you’ll find that resourcefulness is what led you to the top, and the resources were just your biggest supporters!

Let all those mountain tops you have already climbed in your life be your new starting point. You already know that you have a lot available when you reach deep inside for your inner strength. So … make a decision to make it a habit. And let’s meet at the top.

Wishing you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your climbing-the-ladder-two-steps-at-the-time trainers,

Lidija and Thomas

 

Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach

Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach, Life Coach

© Momentum Strategies 2013

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How are you? Yes, You?

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were books written in a very foreign language” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

howareyouDear Friends,

How are you? How has your week been? Has anything magnificent happened in it? Has it been the one to remember? Or has it just whizzed by you?!

No time for reflection

Has it ever happened to you that you spend your day running around, doing errands, being there for everyone, stepping from one role to the next with no time to reflect on the previous one? If it has, rest assured that you are not alone. We live in the world where everything happens so fast, and before we blink it’s over:-).

A world where the natural ability of human beings to take a breather and reflect on their day has somehow been pushed aside and interrupted by a host of daily to do items and dear distractions like social media and TV.

“Great – How are you?”

Culturally the question “How are you?” means very different things. In the USA, generally, there is only one acceptable answer to it – and the answer has nothing to do with how you are or how you feel. In other cultures however, the question is a real question. How are you? It appears that the more economically developed we become, the more the answer to the question is expected to be a non committal “Great – How are you?”

Don’t get us wrong. There is nothing wrong with ritual courtesy. But there is an issue that emerges when it becomes more and more rare that people take the time to ask and answer the question for real – even to themselves!

Quick can be good

So, how does one, in a world that constantly demands more and more of us, adapt and move accordingly, while still staying in a strong First position and takes care of oneself! There are people out there who will judge those that cut corners (or do they really cut them?!), who opt for a quick solution, rather than taking a long winding road, that has been tried and tested, but didn’t give results.

And isn’t the whole point of coaching, attending lectures, seminars, workshops, that of finding a relatively easy, relatively quick route that will not necessarily request from us to spend our entire lives to get the desired results?! We are not talking here about cutting corners, going for a superficial and lacking in quality choice, but the one that has been tried, tested and gives results in a relatively quick time. So with the time we have, saved :-), we can do things that we like, things that interest us and yet at the same time won’t be a wishy-washy-superficial-lacking-in-quality fix.

Taking the time

There is nothing wrong with saving a little time. Yet, there is another kind of wisdom that is also worth exploring. The kind of wisdom that talks about meeting, and interacting with your inner self. The one that acknowledges and greets all the feelings that are much too often brushed aside or swept under the carpet. Because just saying: “Great – How are you?” is not enough to make you into a great person. Something else is required.

Taking the time – your turn

So, with this in mind, may we invite you to do the following exercise: on a daily basis take 5 minutes and just ask yourself the question: “How am I?” then have the patience to listen to the answer you give yourself. And by listen we mean not only to the words, but also to the images and feelings that come up. Don’t be to hasty to reason with what comes up, but be there and meet it and greet it like you would really like someone else to meet you were you to answer the question “how are you?” truthfully.

We wish you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your NLP trainers,

Lidija and Thomas

 

Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

 

© Momentum Strategies 2013

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The Door to Your Self

“My self confidence comes from the fact that I have discovered my dimensions. It does not befit me to make myself smaller than I am.” ~ Edit Södergran

doortoselfDear Friends,

There is a potential you. A you that is greater than you are at the present point in time. And that potential you is also a more authentic you. Your real you. However, oftentimes we are not fully open to that potential self.

At a recent workshop we delivered, there was, as always a mixed group of people – NLP trainers, coaches, psychotherapists, psychologists, business owners, engineers, students… A very diverse and a very interesting group.  Albeit diverse, they had one thing in common – a passion to take their lives to a higher level, to dig deep and uncover what is the difference that makes the difference.

What happened with the zest?

What happens when you are open to new learnings, discoveries, insights, and how come that zest doesn’t last… It comes in waves, and it goes away, and in between some people close themselves, shut themselves from the world if you like, and go back to the old established well known and familiar patterns…

This was the most pressing question, and the one that no matter where we work and who we work with, this kind of question or a variation of it, pretty much always comes up! In other words, what is it that we do, on our road to self-development and self-discovery that contributes to us shutting ourselves off, close ourselves from ourselves?! And when we do close ourselves from ourselves, who and what do we open ourselves to?

Getting the answer is not enough

This ain’t an easy one to answer, however it is not the answers we are looking for, it is the action that we are interested inJ! Answers sometimes serve the purpose of sidetracking us, lulling us into believing that ‘now we have the answer we are half way there’ kind of thing. Having an answer works for some things, yet when it comes to personal growth, we wind that answers play a very little role, as most people like to cling onto them, without really taking any action. Answers are a sure road to taking us to the world of words and rationalizations.

So why do we stop in our tracks and why do we close ourselves to ourselves when the shadow of a breakthrough appears?! A fear of the unknown?! A fear of not being prepared for that, which awaits us on the other side?! A fear of responsibility?!

A shadow of a breakthrough is not a breakthrough

Remember that a shadow of a breakthrough is not a breakthrough. Just like the map is not the territory. We all talk about great breakthroughs and wanting them. But do we really want them? Let’s face it, very few of us, are prepared to face them, and use the momentum that they bring.

Very often this has to do with self-sabotage, which is unconsciously nurtured, by many. And fed daily! And when you do this, you will inevitably be nurturing and feeding the nagging inner voice. The voice of: today is not the right day, wait until tomorrow. And then you will find it that the voice of self -sabotage needs company, and that’s where the guilt kicks in, and suddenly the veil of illusion slides down and you realize that time is of the essence and that if you continue with the same old shutting yourself from yourself, leaving the party just when it starts to get interesting and fun, you will find yourself with a handful of excuses and a myriad of “I could have …” “I should have …” sentences.

Making a decision will help

So instead of running away from the shadow of a breakthrough, make a decision to stick to your guns no matter what. Work with that breakthrough, welcome it! As shutting yourself from yourself is not befitting of you. You are bigger than that. Find that greatness that you have, and start operating from it more and more.

Because you cannot postpone starting to live your real life. Or actually the truth is worse. You can postpone your real life. Forever. And then the life you live will become your real life. So, if not now, then when?

With this in mind may we invite you to consider all the breakthroughs that could have happened in your life had you just had the guts to let go of the familiar old patterns, and see how you could learn from these insights, so next time you are on the verge of a breakthrough you open your arms and welcome it, rather than running away from it.

Wishing you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your real life trainers,

Lidija & Thomas

© Momentum Strategies 2013

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The power of a team

“A single arrow is easily broken, but not ten in a bundle.” – Japanese proverb

rowing_teamDear Friends,

Have you ever found yourself helped and supported by your friends in your career, dreams, visions? We hope you have, if not perhaps you should upgrade your friends … 🙂

Wow, what a couple of weeks this has been! Hectic days in Greece searching for a location for our upcoming NLP on the beach seminar (www.nlponthebeach.com) in October. Visiting different beaches, looking at different hotels, testing different restaurants – not a holiday; real work – enjoyable, yes. But real work. And finally we found a very good location with crystal blue water just beside the green lush nature, in a five star resort at two star prices for our participants 🙂 !

And then, immediately following Greece delivering a couple of lectures at the Medical Faculty in Nis, Serbia, during the conference ‘New trends in nephrology’. It is an interesting experience to talk about NLP strategies and how it can help in curing psychosomatic illnesses, to doctors, in an environment where every other presentation is made on powerpoint with graphs and statistics. We are proud to report that our lectures got a great reception and were even more pleased when doctors expressed interest in attending our training seminars.

But what really impressed us during the conference was the psychology of the person who organized the event and who invited us to speak – a noted academic and professor Spira Strahinjic. A living legend. An 88 year old visionary with the energy, ideas and attitude of a 25 year old! What a role model!  He has made, and is still making, a great and lasting impact on medical practice worldwide!

How did he manage to do all he did, was simple, as he puts it – he choose the right team of people, yet before that he had a good internal team! Now that is where the trick is ;-).

You see, some people choose a career, a field of interest and work work work … And occasionally they accomplish something … Some more than others, yet very often you hear how some of them would complain that they do all the work, and that their team sucks … That is largely true, as choosing a team is very close to an art form. It requires a special skill.

In order to make our dreams a reality, having an inner team is very important, as it largely decides on how we choose the external one. When we know what our values are, what our standards are, what our intentions are, for ourselves and within ourselves, then choosing a team and making the right selection is very easy.

Many of us like to be self-sufficient. We like to do things on our own. But consider how much more Rembrandt accomplished by having a team of assistants. Where would Henry Ford be without the right team, or Steve Jobs, or Richard Branson …

But often the team is invisible to the external world. Whether it is an institutional team – it is common that people who have made a name for themselves work at the same place as others who have made a name for themselves – or it is a home team; there is an old joke which illustrates this point: Hilary and Bill Clinton were driving on some presidential errand when they stopped to get gas for their vehicle. Hilary went inside the gas station and stayed for a long time, speaking smilingly with the manager, every once in a while tossing her hair back. When she came back to the car president Clinton asked her – who was that? – Oh, that was Mr So-and-so, and old flame of mine… The president thought about it for while, then he said with a smile – So, imagine that Hilary, if you had married him you would had been married to a gas petrol station manager. Hilary however simply answered – No, Bill. If I had married him, I would be married to the President of the United States.

So with this in mind, may we invite you to consider this critical factor that is the key to any success – the team within. How is your inner team? Take some time this week to check in and see what is the state of your value system, are standards constantly met, are your intentions clear, is there a good communication flow between the Conscious and Unconscious? Do all the members of your inner team pull in the same direction? Or do they pull you in different directions? Are they attempting to pull you in the same direction, but do so in an uncoordinated fashion, so that they sabotage each other?

What would it be like if they were able to cooperate seamlessly? And find a way to spend some time considering the state of your external team? Who do you surround yourself with? Does your external team inspire you? Move you? Motivate you?

If you want to spend some time with a great group of people and explore how to get your inner team in order you are welcome to join us in Greece for our NLP practitioner on the beach (www.nlponthebeach.com) – or if you simply cannot wait until October, join us already this weekend in Belgrade for our Momentum NLP diploma.

Wishing you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your playing-for-the-team trainers,

Thomas and Lidija

Lidija Markovic– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

© Momentum Strategies 2013

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Razumeti sebe, razumeti druge

Razumeti sebe, razumeti druge

understanding1„Ne znate kako je, nemate pojma//Kada biste znali uradili biste i vi istu stvar!“ ~ Judas Priest (britanski bend)

Dragi prijatelji,

Da li ste se ikada našli u situaciji da neko donosi nepravedni sud o vama, neko ko nije imao uvid u vašu situaciju i pomislio da nešto radite zato što ste prosto takav tip osobe?

I da li ste ikada bili u situaciji da donosite sud o drugima zbog onoga što su uradili – zaključujući da su to uradili jer su takav tip osobe? Ako ste odgovorili potvrdno na ova pitanja, pripadate kategoriji „normalnih“ :-)! To je ono što većina ljudi radi. I prilično je prirodno.

Kada nešto uradite, vi poklanjate pažnju toj konkretnoj situaciji. To je ono gde dobijate informacije kako da postupite. Niko drugi nema uvid koji vi imate o tim okolnostima, i stoga su skloni da zanemare celu situaciju i da misle o vama kao o „tom tipu osobe“.

A naravno, vi radite isto. Ako je neko drzak prema vama to je sigurno zato što su drski. Ako je neko radostan, znači da je radosna osoba. Je li tako?!

Ako neki glumac igra inteligentan lik, mi ga doživljavamo kao inteligentnog. To može i ne mora da bude slučaj! To da je on inteligentan, naravno :-)!

Bolja opcija bi bila da se radi sasvim suprotno: da razmišljamo o svemu što radimo, kao o nečemu što biramo da radimo. I da razmišljamo o tome šta drugi rade, uzimajući u obzir njihovu situaciju, njihov kontekst.

Uvek imamo izbor! A naši izbori definišu naš karakter i našu sudbinu. Ako mislite da ste proizvod situacije u kojoj ste se našli, zaista bi trebalo da pročitate Sartra malo pažljivije. Egzistencijalizam nije samo tinejdžerska filozofija. To je pravac koji upućuje ka jednostavnoj istini: vi možete da birate. Imali ste izbor i evo vas tu. A ako ste izgubili sposobnost da birate – ako patite od pogrešnog uverenja da okolnosti kontrolišu vaše postupke, onda vam je preko potreban visoko kvalitetan NLP.

Stvar je u sledećem. Zamislite na momenat one koji vas pogrešno procenjuju i koliko bi vas bolje razumeli ako bi proveli samo malo vremena razmatrajući situaciju u kojoj ste.  A ovde leži i caka: koliko biste vi počeli da bolje razumevate druge ljude, njihove situacije i motive, ukoliko biste uzeli njihove okolnosti u obzir.

Imajući ovo u vidu, pozivamo vas da u toku sledeće nedelje razmotrite postupke par ljudi koje sretnete. Poželjno onih ljudi kojima ne biste tako lako rekli sve što mislite. I provedite neko vreme analizirajući okolnosti u kojima funkcionišu. Kladimo se da,  ako ovo budete radili dosledno, samo ovaj deo – provodili neko vreme da  shvatite stvari iz njihove perspektive, da vidite, čujete i osetite ono što i oni u sadašnjem trenutku, to će promeniti vaše razumevanje tih istih ljudi.

amislite kako bi bilo kada biste uzeli u obzir njihova prethodna iskustva i način na koji ih doživljavaju. Vaš ceo pogled na svet bi se promenio, i otvorio nove vidike!

Želimo vam divnu nedelju i šaljemo okeane ljubavi,

Vaši razumljivo razumevajući treneri,

Lidija i Thomas

P.S. Koristimo priliku da vas obavestimo da cemo od 14.6 početi sa NLP treninzima, seminarima i radionicama i u Beogradu!!!

Pozivamo vas da pogledate našu Momentum NLP Serbia Facebook grupu i našu Momentum Strategies Coaching Facebook stranicu i pridružite nam se sa komentarima, iskustvima, idejama i svim drugim stvarima vezanim za NLP lični razvoj i ekspanziju!!! Mi smo tu za vas!

Lidija Markovic Rosati, NLP Trener, Holistic NLP Trener, Hipnoterapeut, Master Neurostrateg, TimeLine terapeut. Osnivač Holistic NLP centra u Nišu. Živi i radi na relaciji Velika Britanija – Srbija. www.momentum-strategies.com

Thomas Björge – NLP Trener, NLP Coach (Klasični i Novi Kod). Živi i radi na relaciji Svedska, Norveška i Velika Britanija .

© Momentum Strategies 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Understanding You, Understanding Others

“You don’t know what it’s like, you don’t have a clue
If you did you’d find yourselves doing the same thing too!”
~Judas Priest (British Band)

understanding1Dear Friends,

Have you ever found yourself being judged unfairly by others who lacked insight into your situation and thought you did what you did because that’s the sort of person you are?

And have you ever found yourself judging someone else because of what they did – and concluding that they did what they did because they are that sort of person? If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, you belong to the ‘normal’ 🙂 category! This is what most people do. And it is pretty natural.

When you do something, you are paying attention to that particular situation. That is where you get the information about how to act. No one else has the insight you have about that situation, and hence they tend to disregard it and think of you as this or that sort of person.

And of course you do the same. If someone treats you rudely it surely is because they are rude. If someone is happy, it means they are a happy person. Right?!

If an actor plays an intelligent character, we perceive him as intelligent. That may or may not be the case! Him being intelligent that is:-)!

A more rewarding option would be to do the exact opposite: to think of everything we ourselves do, as something we choose to do.  And to think of what others do, in terms of their situation, their context.

We always have a choice! And the choices we make define our character and our destiny. If you think you are the product of the situations you have found yourself in, you really should read Sartre more carefully. Existentialism isn’t just teenage philosophy. It is a finger pointing directly toward the simple fact: you can choose. You had a choice and here you are. And if you have lost your ability to choose – if you suffer under the bad faith that circumstances control your actions, then you are in dire need of some high quality NLP.

Here is the thing. Imagine for a moment those who misjudge you, how much better would their understanding of you be if they spent just a tiny fraction of time considering the situation you are in. And here is the clinch: how much better will you start to understand other people, their situations and motives when you take their situation into consideration.

With this in mind may we invite you to, during the forthcoming week, consider the actions of one or two people you meet. Preferably people of whom you would not be hard pressed to utter descriptive phrase or two. And spend some time analyzing the situation they are operating from. Our bet is that if you do this consistently, just this part, just spending some time attending to what other people see, hear and feel in the present it will alter your understanding of them.

Imagine what it would be like if you took into consideration their previous experiences and the way they filter them. Your whole worldview would change, and will open up new horizons!

Wishing you wonderful week and sending you oceans of love,

Your understandably understood trainers,

Lidija & Thomas

Lidija Markovic Rosati– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach

 

© Momentum Strategies 2013

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Where Is Your Emotional Address?

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ~ Oscar Wilde

einstein insanity

Dear Friends,

Have you ever found yourself experiencing an emotion, which you have experienced many times before? Of course you have. And if you have not, congratulations; we suppose you are now an enlightened Zen Master. That is good. Please send us an email and share your experiences:-)!

The thing is, most people have an emotional address. The furniture in their emotional house consists of the same pieces of furniture, which they visit daily. They spend their lives living in a small set of emotions.

Now one very relevant question to ask yourself is: do the emotions I regularly spend time in serve me? Is my house of emotions helping me achieve my long-term goals and dreams?

Because your emotional address is not just a place where you live at the moment. It is also the direction in which you are travelling. It is the number of the highway you are driving on, so where is it headed? Towards true North, or South?

Generally speaking most people think the same thoughts again and again, and these same thoughts result in the same emotions, and these same emotions result in the same actions.

This does not have to be a bad thing. If you truly enjoy playing the guitar, do so every day, and while listening for the progress you make, you will, in due time, achieve a fine level of mastery with your instrument.

But it can also be a dangerous trap. You can live a life, which is not your real life. Some people live their entire lives like that. Thinking about the same things again and again during the day (and there is NO requirement that the thoughts have anything to do with what they experience during the particular day!), visiting the same couple of emotional states again and again, basing their decisions and actions in these states … and then ending up with creating little or no difference or adventure in their lives.

Now, it probably wasn’t Albert Einstein who first said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” But whomever it was, was on to something. If someone bases all their decisions and actions on a very limited set of emotions the results are going to be pretty much the same.

With this in mind, may we invite you to start a week where you keep track of which emotional states you enter habitually. Every hour on the hour ask yourself a question: where am I at, emotionally, at this point in time? When you have answered the question a number of times you may start to recognize your emotional address. Then it is time to ask yourself: do these emotions help me move in the direction I want to go? Do these emotions help me create and live the life I want to have and experience?

If your answer is less than satisfactory, then it may be time to ask yourself what emotions you would like to furnish your emotional home with. And what you can do to make them your new emotional address.

Wishing you a wonderful week and sending you oceans of love!
Your local movers and trainers

Thomas and Lidija

Lidija Markovic Rosati– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach
Thomas Björge– NLP Trainer (Classic & New Code), NLP Coach
© Momentum Strategies 2013

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